Is my therapy HELPING?!!
Nov 27, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afj0n3Bn4q0

hey you guys welcome to my channel for
the second time today I really wanted to
just come on here and talk with you guys
for just a little bit so as most of you
probably have seen if you viewed my
video earlier I did do what's called a
dirty delete meaning I deleted my video
I guess because I was taking offense to
what was being said about my me as a
person that I am a horrible parent that
you know I'm basically the worst mother
of the Year 2019
the whole you know shebang and of course
that really rubbed me wrong because I I
believe I'm a good mom I believe that I
have my best and my kids his best
interest always at the top of my
priority and I understand that having a
platform you're gonna put things out
there and some are gonna agree with you
some aren't and then there's gonna be
others that question because they don't
fully understand the whole point and I
guess that's kind of why I came on today
and made a video and I guess the way
that majority had taken it was that I
was being defensive but not in a
rational way and I want to apologize
honestly I am very sorry that I even did
that you know as a parent we have
choices with our children and sometimes
those choices may be good choices other
choices might backfire later on in the
future but all we can do is do what we
feel is best for our children and for
ourselves and hope for the best I am a
one time mom I have done this only one
time meaning you know all my children
are at a very young age I'm just going
to be reaching into
teenage years here within the next two
years so for me this is all very new as
it would be to anybody and so when I am
trying to make decisions for what is
going to be something of the future and
when I say that I mean as if our
children didn't come with a manual you
know we don't know there's no rules in a
book to follow
there's nothing stating that something's
gonna make us a better parent or a less
of a parent or a fair parent so we do it
in faith that we're doing the right
things I really have sat down today and
I have read all of the messages that
have been sent to me in my comment
section and my emails my facebook
messages I mean I've been hit all over
the place and not in time and not in a
negative way so much as people truly
putting their feelings out there and
shining some light on things I guess I
really haven't stopped to think about
and one that really stuck out to me was
you say you've been going to therapy for
a couple of years now but you still
reminisce in the past you still bring
that past up and so that comes to ask
does therapy really help you because
you're still stuck back there you
haven't moved forward at all and in two
and a half years it should be
progressing somewhere and that message
ring home to me as most other messages
did today but it really made me stop and
think to myself where is my walk in
therapy where have I traveled to and
where is my plans to go I agree with all
of you my children should not pay for my
past my children have the right to have
their future and their present be made
as
good as I can because I don't want to
continue to pass down that that spoon of
the bad past meaning like a lot of
people said well you know why allow your
children to see you as a negative person
during that time why don't you bring in
the positive and that makes a lot of
sense so after thinking really long and
hard about it it definitely makes a lot
of sense to me that I really need to sit
back and really really check out my
whole line of my holidays and the way
that I want to make traditions in my
family you know and I when it comes to
Christmas I still you know I still will
not celebrate Christmas and that is just
therefore because of the fact that it is
something that we don't celebrate and my
religion but we have what is called the
ií'd and that is celebrated after the 30
days of fasting
well 29 to 30 day fasting at the end of
that that is when your children receive
gifts and we have like a feast and it's
a big thing and the best way that I can
describe it is it's kind of like an
Islamic Christmas but really it's not
I'm just trying to like make it visually
as easy as I can explain it so my
children don't miss out really because
they do have their holiday and we do
make a big deal out of that holiday and
we do decorate the inside of our house
and we do make it a special time for our
family as do all the other Muslims that
celebrate Ramadan and night and so when
it comes to Christmas that is the reason
I will no longer celebrate Christmas are
you kind of bring went dead there for me
celebrate Christmas because when I
converted to Islam I took that real
as what it is therefore and what we
believe in and that's just one thing
that we don't believe in but that
doesn't make anybody wrong for believing
in the things that they believe I would
never cast judgment on another family or
another human being because they
celebrate Christmas like I said earlier
there are Muslims that do celebrate
Christmas and that is okay that is their
toys as they're the adults of their home
and they have the control of what
happens in their home that is their
choice to celebrate Christmas and it
doesn't make them wrong but just because
our family chooses not to celebrate
Christmas with many many many thousands
of other Muslims that doesn't make us
wrong either especially because we do
celebrate holidays we have our holidays
and we make them very special at our
times as well when it comes to
Thanksgiving that is one that I'm really
gonna work on and I think it's one that
I have to take and really I guess take
the tools that I have learned with my
therapy and realize that having those
times is is making tradition with my
family and with my kids I don't have a
huge extended family that I you know am
really involved with physically I mean I
have a huge family but I'm not really
physically close to any of them so the
celebration that we have would be our
household you know what I'm saying like
it's not gonna be this big thing like it
was when I was younger but definitely it
is something that I think I'm going to
look over again and reevaluate because I
think though that's only fair especially
with a lot of the things that people
have brought up to my attention I think
that just makes a little bit more sense
and that is more fair for my children as
well I will still continue to do New
Year's celebration I think that that is
very important I think it's very special
for our family however I do want to make
it really clear because somebody had
made a
comment that why don't I get my life
straight because a year ago at this time
I had talked about how that was our
first Thanksgiving making the fixings
and doing it on January 1st okay I just
started this tradition last year last
year was our first years doing the New
Year celebration and last year was the
first year that I have personally made a
whole turkey dinner by myself I have
never made one I didn't know what to do
all he was the walking me through it
step by step because I really didn't
have any idea this will be our second
year celebrating in the New Year's Day
doing the turkey dinner our first year
doing that that is when we decided that
New Year's Day would be a great time to
add in another tradition for our family
so when it comes to other holidays each
holiday I think I'm going to take each
one individually and I will reflect on
it and I will observe it and I will see
if I think it's a holiday that you know
mixes with our family and if it does
great if it doesn't then that's alright
it doesn't make me less of a parent and
it doesn't make my children deprived you
know because there are other things that
we do with our children that they
wouldn't feel deprived and when it comes
to like Maya doing things at school like
I had explained before they don't do
Christmas things at the school anymore
they don't make Santa Clauses they don't
do any of that they literally do winter
themed things for the month of December
in January because that is what the
public school district does that's not
something that I have made my child do
that is what the public school does so
for that that's already a taken care of
situation you know my kids still see the
Christmas lights hanging on houses and
we even go to the Christmas lighting and
watch the lights at the houses my
children they've watched Christmas
movies it's just that I don't object or
I don't subject her how do you I don't
put in promote
santa claus stockings and those things i
just don't do it in my home it doesn't
mean my children don't see it and get to
still experience it they just don't
bring it into the house and that's just
because of our religion but i don't stop
them so you know now i do stop my
children when it comes to sitting on
Santa's lap I don't like that I'm sorry
I have always been against that I will
never ever ever and I don't care what
anybody says I will never allow my
children to sit on a man's lap it's just
know that no so for that one absolutely
not but if we're at the you know the
mall and they see you know the Christmas
tree light up and you know all the
festivities things going on sure my kids
join in I'm not gonna sit there but like
no you can't
it makes them stand on the sidelines and
watch everybody else but when it comes
into the house I just don't have my home
decorated for it and we don't open up
gifts on Christmas Day that is the
difference that's it that that's all the
differences that we have in our home you
know and when I said about people asking
about giving my children gifts yes
that's why I said it is totally okay to
you know to send my kids gifts if that's
what you want to do I never brought it
up to anybody it was brought to my
attention and I said you know what
instead of answering 25 messages about
pretty much the exact same thing
let me just include it into a video and
that way I can answer to anybody else
that's maybe possibly thinking that or
wanting to ask and that way I can
address it there and I also stated that
I would just save it until New Year's
Day when we give the kids their gifts
cuz we always give the children one gift
going into the new year cuz it's a new
first start
it's just that celebration and they get
their gift and so that's what I was
saying about saving it and giving it to
them on that day because that's when we
do our gift exchange so I'm trying to
explain that we don't deprive our
children it doesn't make me a bad parent
because I decided not to
things of Christmas just like it doesn't
make somebody wrong for doing it
everybody has the right to do what they
want as a parent and as raising up
children but I wish that people wouldn't
shame somebody else because of the
beliefs are the things that they do with
their family because a choice is that
they've made so anyways I'm gonna close
this was a quick video it's just
something I took down the other video
because I do kind of understand the
situation I am going to re-evaluate
things this year I'm just keeping with
the way that I've done things because
you know tomorrow's of course are
tomorrow's Thanksgiving I don't have
anything prepared anyways if I was going
to so for me I just will keep it to say
way that it is and then I'll approach it
when it comes next year but anyways I
just want to say thank you to everybody
and I appreciate everybody's comments
their concerns their opinions I
appreciate everyone of you guys and I'm
glad that some of you brought up some
serious situations that were bothering
you because then it kind of triggered me
to look back and be like hmm I think
these are things that I need to be a
little bit more curious about and think
a little bit more on rather than just
making a flat decision and not thinking
far enough into the future and things
like that so anyways I appreciate all of
you guys stay blessed again I'm gonna
leave it with this have a wonderful
Thanksgiving with your guys's families I
love you all and I will see you guys
soon bye bye